Heartache and Prayer for My Dad

**Update** 1/27/2010- Dad came through his heart cath Ok. There was no blockage at least, but his heart is not pumping like it should. They hope to help this with medication as long as it does not get any worse. Tomorrow we hear on other tests. Please keep him in your prayers. Thank You!

It seems so many things these days are weighing heavily on my heart, breaking my heart, bringing me to my knees in prayer, so much so I can't even seem to control the tears from brimming as I once could. So many things flowing through my mind, and being whispered across my soul. I really am just confused and not sure what I should do next. Of course I know even in this God has me in his arms and he is waiting patiently for me to rest in him and wait on him to make all this craziness become clear.

Those that followed my other blogs that I have now joined into this one know that last year had a lot of trials for my family. First, this summer my nephew almost died in a bike accident, second, a scare with our new son and the possibility of cancer shortly after he came home from Ethiopia in September. Then a terrible car accident my Father was in, and a couple weeks after that our daughter was life flighted after a long week of fever and other crazy things, and eventually diagnosed with Kawasaki disease. And then when we thought we were getting back to our comfortable normal life :), my Father almost died again and is still dealing with many many issues.

Tomorrow he goes in for a heart cath and I ask for your prayers upon this and for guidance with the Dr.'s as they search for any issues in my Dad's heart and possibly have to fix anything they may find. I also ask for prayers next week as my Dad hears results from a blood and bone marrow test that was performed a couple weeks ago.

I don't mean to sound down and out, as I am not. God has blessed my family more than we deserve every day, but I want people to know that we are here on earth for God. We are here to fulfill our individual purposes in him on earth and he is with us EVERY step of the way even when we think he is not. He loves us that much.

I have always had my Dad on this pedestal of strength and things in the last months have knocked him down and I have seen him weak for the first time in my 32 years of life. The truth is I built him up and God has something in store for him I am sure. He may be physically weak but our spirits our strong in the Lord and tomorrow is a day we will praise him, glorify him, and bow down to him in prayer as my earthly Father is in the hands of the Dr.'s and always in the hands of God.

The Lord gives his people strength. The Lord blesses them with peace.
~ Psalm 29:11

Haiti

Please keep praying for Haiti; there is still so much suffering and major after effects going on. People suffering, People searching, People with no food, no water, no shelter, and many who may have it now that will be without very soon. We must keep praying that more are found alive, that more receive medical treatment, that all feel God's ever loving arms around them in this their hardest time.

Two sites I want to point out today. One of an American Family living in Haiti, living and breathing every moment of this tragedy. They have a blog that gives you such heartfelt glimpses into their world now after the earthquake.

http://livesayhaiti.blogspot.com

Another is a friend of mine that I have met only in the blog world, and have mentioned before, Gwen Oatsvall. A wonderful wonderful woman with a huge heart for the orphan. Her personal blog is here: http://www.oatsvallteam.blogspot.com, and the blog she has with her friend Suzanne is here. Please grab her badge for your blog and go to this site and help the orphans in Haiti and around the world.

Here is what they are doing in Gwen's words:

THE CHILDREN OF HAITI NEED US RIGHT NOW .... 147MillionOrphans.com will be donating 50% of all profits of online sales over the next month to a children's home in Haiti ... SO GUYS AND GALS it is time for some shopping with a PURPOSE .... Wear a shirt about helping orphans around the world and tell everyone you care about them !!!! I want to sell out our inventory and send lots of love and funds to Haiti ...

I could say Haiti has a special place in my heart because of my friend Jamie, who has a daughter from Haiti and her son is still in Haiti, and while this is true because I see sweet Amos's face on a daily basis while praying him home, but the truth is I LOVE ALL ORPHANS and I know someone who has adopted from almost every place in the world ... WE ARE ONE BODY ... There is no THEM AND US ... So when we know of hurt, we must act !!!

God bless and keep praying.

For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.
~ Ephesians 2:10

Blood Relatives

I am a little emotional today and adoption and the circumstances around adoption are very heavy on my heart these days. With the earthquake in Haiti and the devastation it has left and will leave for a long time on an already poor nation; my heart is heavy for this country and it's people; it's children especially. At one time we had looked into adopting from Haiti and the tears were just brimming this morning as I heard more details on the earthquake.

That aside, a lot is stirring in me and I am going to quote from a devotional I picked up on a whim quite awhile ago that is touching my heart quite deeply today.

It is titled "Meditations for Adoptive Parents", written by Vernell Klassen Miller.

Page 18, the Fourth Day is about Blood Relatives

To quote a portion: "It seems that building a family by adoption threatens many people-as though they believe that if their family lacked an awareness of genetic relatedness, there would be no other relatedness. They claim that people on every side of adoption are prone to feelings of disconnectedness, rejection, and low self-esteem. Some are. But research shows that these feelings are more common in families built only by birth! (If biological bonds insure stable families, where do all the children in foster care come from?)"

She goes into another paragraph or two elaborating on this more, but I especially was touched by this from the meditation.

"Christians can agree that the Bible advises us not to place too much emphasis on genealogies. Our focus is rather to be on the importance of faith. Without the link of faith, we are not, in an eternal sense, related to our children, whether born to us or adopted. And with faith's linkage we are blood relatives forever."

The prayer for the day is then this: "Oh, God, help us remember that all relatedness is temporary, unless it is made permanent through Jesus' precious blood. Amen."Amen indeed.

Now of course I am not trying to take away from the fact that adopted children have a history before they were adopted into their forever homes, and that that history is not important; of course it is. My point is to somewhat put a different perspective on those that cannot understand adoption from the point of the questions I and others may get like, "Don't you want to have children of your own?" and etc.

So in conclusion for today I leave you with an unknown author's poem that is also printed in this meditation book.

LEGACY OF AN ADOPTED CHILD

Once there were two women
Who never knew each other.
One you do not remember.
The other, you call mother.

Two different lives shaped your one.
One became your guiding star.
The other, you call mother.

The first gave you life,
And the second taught you to live in it.
The first gave you the need for love,
And the second was there to give it.

One gave you a nationality.
The other gave you a name.
One gave you the seed of talent.
The other gave you aim.

One gave you emotions.
The other calmed your fears.
One saw your first sweet smile.
The other dried your tears.

One gave you up- it was all that she could do.
The other prayed for a child,
And God led her straight to you.

And now you ask me through your tears,
The age-old question through the years.

Heredity or environment- which are you the product of?
Neither, my Darling, neither:
Just two different kinds of love!

December 22, 2009

Let me just start out by saying that I have a ton of blog posts in my mind that keep coming to me in the car on the way to and from work. It happens at these times because really this is pretty much the only time I am by myself and not meeting the needs of my 3 blessings at home and have time to think. At any rate I had a cutesy little post all ready, and then I read another blog and knew I had to post about the above mentioned date.

The post I read was about how the Holy Spirit spoke to her about adopting. I can relate so much to that because that is how we arrived at adopting our 2 precious blessings at home. To give you somewhat the shortened version of that, when we decided to adopt EJ from Guatemala I had felt it and heard Guatemala whispered across my soul before we were even close to starting the process there; seriously years before. And when we were asked if we preferred a boy or a girl, I had said at the time we really did not have a preference, but I really feel that a girl is in our future. Same with Ethiopia we were literally a stamp away from mailing in our profile for domestic adoption and I just kept telling my husband that Ethiopia is in my heart and I feel God is leading us there, and well now we our parents to our blessing of Mighty Mo. And again we put our names on both lists, but I just knew before we were even on the lists or even knew how long the lists were that we were going to be blessed with a boy.

So on to my journal entry that only the Holy Spirit could work up:

Something was whispered across my soul today - at first the country Rwanda, but not just that, a little girl in Rwanda. Then the name Emma, and then the name Maizee. Could this mean twins?

I must pray about this for I need to make sure it is God that I am hearing. Rwanda adoptions run from the age of 2-15 years at the time of referral. Clearly, in my mind, not something in the immediate future. Major reasons would be financial, and the fact that I am still a FT working mother. If we would adopt again, especially an older child I feel it is important to stay home with our children.

Please God give me the courage and wisdom to know when you are commanding and the patience to hear and wait on your plan.

This is what I wrote on that day, and I did not want to forget it. The blog I read today spoke of this very thing. How often times we ignore the whispers of the holy spirit. How many more of us have been called to adopt? And who am I to put earthly limitations on God's possible calling for our family again? Is it scary, YES! Is it out of my comfort zone and beyond what I think our limitations are as a family, YES, YES!

So here I am praying and trying to discern what God has planned for our little family. I am praying for the provision and wisdom to do things so I can be home with our children if it is God's will. Life is a journey and God has the map and I eagerly look forward to his plan for us!

Whisper one: our daughter EJ



Whisper 2: our son Mighty Mo



Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.
Ephesians 3:20

God's Will and Grace

I love this sentence that came to me via e-mail today.

The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.

It has inspired my blog title for a blog that not only updates you on my family, but also on God's will for our lives, advocating for the orphans of the world, things God whispers across my soul and everything in between.

I am excited that my first post will be about advocating for an orphan; one of God's precious children. A child that God has planned to join this beautiful family.

Please go to Josh and Janelle's blog and help support their adoption and the wonderful work of Gwen and Suzanne at their blog of 147 million orphans.

www.rychenerfamilyadventures.blogspot.com

God's Blessings!