We Ladies Can Be Real Silly Sometimes!

First off let me say this. I really appreciate the woman that looks just sharp and together everyday. You know the beautiful outfits, perfect hair, matching shoes, jewelry, and purses. I sometimes think why don’t I do that more, but to me that is hard work that I can’t seem to get myself to invest in. So I really appreciate the woman that can do that everyday, heck even once a week!

My hubby would be the first to tell you that IF I go shopping for myself I set out to buy one thing and then end up buying the same thing I always do. He likes to call my outfits my work uniform. I work in a casual office and so my outfits tend to be plain colored shirts and tan pants so I can then wear them on the weekend too. I am pretty boring, but in my mind I am being very practical. It seems to have become worse with the addition of a second child too. I think in my mind I need new clothes, but then I think I have more than enough, more than most in the world and that is fine.

Here is the thing I was struggling with today. The hubby and I rarely go out, especially w/out the kids, and this Friday I am taking the day off of work to soak in my kids, and then we are going on a date! The first part of the evening will be just the hubby and I with a little old bottle of wine and hopefully some really good conversation (you know more than what we have in passing and talking over a 3 year old who loves to be the center of attention right now.  ). Then we are going to meet up with some old friends that we haven’t really spent a ton of time with in a VERY long time.

So as excited as I am about this the first thing that came to my mind today was, “WHAT WILL I WEAR????” Seriously I was having a hard time with this. I have been telling myself all day that it doesn’t matter because what I am excited about is the fellowship of the evening. But I am a chick and sometimes I just feel frumpy! My friend, she’s a really sharp dresser, and well I am not. So maybe that is part of it too. That and the fact I literally have gained about 10 lbs since being back to work from my time off with Mighty Mo and everything I own right now is tight! GRRRR…need to learn to control. At any rate, that’s a whole different subject.

So I was feeling very frumpy and then I recalled this verse below:

The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.
1 Samuel 16:7

You see that??? IT DOESN’T MATTER! What I am learning over and over again is that beauty radiates from the heart; the heart I have for my God and my Jesus. And as I strive to be more like my Jesus, material things really are just that material, and I have so much! Yes my shoes need polished, and my pants have stains on them, and my shirts are pretty much T-shirts, but who really cares? I am beautiful to my God, to my Hubby, and to all who really know me and that is what is important. My joy doesn’t come from the perfect outfit it comes from the love I have for Jesus and how I am relaying that to the world.

So to all my lady friends….don’t let the frumpiness take over because God has so much beauty in you for him and he has great plans for you!

Similar Pictures

We finally landscaped this past weekend after a year of no landscaping when we tiled around the house. It looks awesome; my hubby does a really good job. I decided to take a pic of EJ in front of this really awesome shrub/tree we planted, and of course she refused to look at the camera, but I still love the pic.



When I downloaded this pic the other day it brought back to memory another favorite picture of EJ I took only about 8 months after she had been home. I remember that it was a cool morning before the heat came and Kent was gone. I thought this outfit was cute and decided on a whim to take some pics of our sweet girl. Our lives are so blessed with her in it, our first baby, God's precious gift.



I just love pictures. I have them everywhere. I love the memories they bring just with a glance. Even though many things weigh on my heart, I am joyful and full of peace in Christ, and I try to not take any moment for granted and live in him at all times. I truly am thankful for all he has given our family. We are undeserving, and give all the glory to God.

And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.
~ Colossians 3:15

Deuteronomy 6: 5-7

Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

Dear Father,

I do not want to be a substitute Mom anymore because of working Full Time. I want to invest in the children you have so graciously blessed me with. I want to teach them as you have instructed in your precious word. Help me to see the path you are laying before me and to know what to do in order to fulfill the most precious of jobs you have given me...being a wife and a mother. I struggle, you know it, I lose patience with the day to day rush, and I am not the best wife or mother I can be. Give me strength and knowledge and help me to put my whole trust in you and to live out the plan you have for me in my part of your story here on earth.

Amen

Real Pictures

This is what really happens sometimes when we try to capture "smiley" moments in pictures...Ahhhh isn't it just sweet??!!! :)

HE'S ONE!!

Our handsome sweetie Mighty Mo is 1 today!

My how he has changed and grown. We had his party on Sunday and to be honest it was the fastest party I have ever thrown! Poor Mo was teething and tired and really could have cared less. This first pic is the best one we got of him. He still liked eating the cake, but was pretty tired while doing it, and we also zipped through the presents quickly. His portion of the party was literally done in an hour. Hopefully next year he will have more fun, but we celebrated this precious life by holding him and cuddling him all night. Nothing is sweeter than that!






EJ giving Mo some morning birthday Love!



The kids always get a gift first thing when the wake on their birthday's, bed head and all...




Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand.
~ Psalm 37:24

This is the verse I will put in a letter to Mo on our private blog, but wanted to share it with you all today.

Our boy is such a joy and a blessing and we are so very thankful for this precious child of God.

Sinking In Part 1: He is With You

To organize some of my unsettled feelings lately I need to pick some of the thoughts and emotions going on in my head and heart and get them out. For those that don’t know, I am the type of person that when I am in a high intense emotional type “event” I have a natural lock down on my emotions and it takes a LONG time for them to surface and come out. This happens with good and hard things like adoption and finally holding your child, and things like when my daughter and my father end up in the hospital in the same month and again a couple months later. I have trained myself to take over and be the strength; not allow the emotion I may have on the situation come out.

So without further ado, sinking in part 1 is about my sweet EJ and Kawasaki Disease

Never heard of it? Yeah I never had either. It’s a disease, that although very treatable, the cause is unknown. You can be diagnosed A typical Kawasaki, meaning you have a couple of the typical symptoms but it’s hard to say if it is truly the disease or you can be diagnosed full blown Kawasaki which is what our EJ was. Here are typical symptoms of Kawasaki:

Kawasaki disease often begins with a high and persistent fever greater than 102°F, often as high as 104°F. A persistent fever lasting at least 5 days is considered a classic sign. The fever may last for up to 2 weeks and does not usually go away with normal doses of acetaminophen (Tylenol) or ibuprofen.
• Extremely bloodshot or red eyes (without pus or drainage)
• Bright red, chapped, or cracked lips
• Red mucous membranes in the mouth
• Strawberry tongue, white coating on the tongue, or prominent red bumps on the back of the tongue
• Red palms of the hands and the soles of the feet
• Swollen hands and feet
• Skin rashes on the middle of the body, NOT blister-like
• Peeling skin in the genital area, hands, and feet (especially around the nails, palms, and soles)
• Swollen lymph nodes (frequently only one lymph node is swollen), particularly in the neck area
• Joint pain and swelling, frequently one both sides of the body
• Children with Kawasaki disease are admitted to the hospital. Treatment must be started as soon as the diagnosis is made to prevent damage to the coronary arteries and heart.

All items I have highlighted in bold EJ had. She was going on the 6th day of a very high fever, she hit 105 at one point, many sleepless nights, and the bloodshot eyes, red lips, and strawberry tongue were there now. In fact she was so text book with her symptoms the ICU Dr. asked if he could take pictures.

On that 6th day I had contacted our family Dr. late that morning saying she was bad. I described her appearance, the fact she was not eating at all now nor drinking (I had to force her to take a sip) and so on. What the nurse told me at the time was I will pass this on to the Dr. and she will either prescribe something to make her feel better or want to see her. Umm, Ok. So it was after 5 p.m. and still no word. We went to my parents and she continued to get worse, and then the hubby and I called the Dr. on call. He told us to get to the emergency room because he did not like how this was sounding. At the E.R. they confirmed she was dehydrated and then also started treating her for Pneumonia because of one tiny spot on a lung X-Ray. EJ was later admitted to a room around 11:30 at night and EVERY half hour she woke and wanted to either rip out the very poorly administered IV or get out of bed and go home. We were both miserable. The next morning EJ’s fever spiked and I called the nurses. A flurry of crazy activity then begins to happen. EJ also looked extremely puffy to me which I mentioned and they stopped the fluids. (Our on call Dr. said they put too many fluids in her). At one point the on call Dr. comes in and said he wouldn’t have diagnosed her with Pneumonia like the ER Dr. had, but now things just aren’t looking good.

It was at this point, and I know a lot of them before this too, that I can look back and actually see where God was in control. He used our on call Dr., our friend, to tell us that he didn’t know what was going on and he would feel better if she went to *Blank* (a city hospital an hour away). We were very willing to do this and were thankful he felt he should send that order. At the time her stats were reading so crazy that they thought she was going to go into cardiac arrest, which they thankfully did not tell us at the time, but said Life flight was on its way. Wow, ok.

I have talked about our ICU experience before and won’t go into all that detail again, but let me tell you about what I haven’t talked about. I have not talked about the spiritual side of EJ’s disease that was happening right before our eyes. And yes I believe there is a spiritual evil that surrounds every sickness and disease because I witnessed it.

Our little girl likes to pray, asks to pray, and has even started mumbling her version of prayer lately. It has never been an issue about her not praying except that lately if Daddy prays a little too long she starts to get distracted by other things, but at any rate praying is something we do in our house as a family. As this disease started to progress in our daughter’s little body there were several times where when Kent went to pray over EJ she would push his hand and firmly say “NO”. There was one time in particular where Kent had just took his turn in bed with EJ in our ICU room and he put his hand on her head and started praying out loud. Again, EJ turned to him and pushed his hand and said “NO DADDY”. Kent then prayed silently over her and she was none the wiser. Some might think nothing of this, but we know in our heart of hearts that we weren’t just fighting to rid her body of this disease but we were fighting to rid her of the evil spirit within her as well. I would have never believed this before until I was actually in it, feeling it, hearing it, and seeing it.

Friends I couldn’t recount how many times I said silent prayers constantly that weekend to God for my sweet EJ, and I literally sang Jesus Love Me over a hundred times that first day. It was the only thing that seemed to bring her comfort as they poked and prodded A LOT. I had to be strong and help her as they poked and prodded and as I helped hold her down numerous times. She would always ask if it was done and I would say almost and she would just wine Okay. She was so very brave. I know I couldn’t have endured what she did. But do you see the good and evil here? The song Jesus Loves Me from Mommy brought her comfort but something in her wanted to ward off the prayers.

I allowed myself one moment that maybe lasted a minute that first day. We had been in the ICU for about maybe 20 minutes or so and I was waiting for my hubby to arrive. He came in and asked what was going on and with EJ in my lap, with all the wires and IV’s and everything hanging all over us; I just burst into tears and told him to ask the Dr. I allowed myself that one minute and then it was go time from there.

It seems here lately that I am thinking about this week and a half with EJ a lot. I’m feeling it deeply and thinking about what could or could not have happened. I cherish this girl, this precious gift from God, more than my words could ever do justice. I love her so much. To see her still processing everything that happened and know that she could have had major heart damage if we would have went just 1 day longer before treatment is just hard to process. The thing is OUR GOD had different plans. He placed certain people to step in when we needed it; our on call Dr., the AWESOME nurse in ICU and her wonderful quick working Dr.’s; that was all GOD.

I am so thankful and I am so glad to be feeling the happiness of this moment in our family’s godly path, to feel the sadness of the situation that I wouldn’t allow myself to feel before, and to grow that much more in love with my Father and my family. GOD IS WITH US ALL THE TIME. He does not take breaks, he does not forsake us, he is there carrying us through the best of times and the worst of times and in the end he always blesses us.

(Hopefully the cute pics of EJ help with my very long post!)